Tubi Terrors - What The F*$!? Did I Just Watch Edition

(Tubi Terrors is a somewhat reoccurring series about horror movies that can be streamed for free on Tubi.)

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One of my favorite parts about Tubi is that they have a lot of low budget, independent movies available to watch - especially horror movies.  From alien llamas to Seaside Heights and bible camp, here’s a quick recap of some B-movies I watched on Tubi recently.

LLAMAGEDDON

Originally available to rent on Amazon for a million dollars, Llamageddon tries to secure a spot in the cult classic library next to movies like Thankskilling, and succeeds.

Llamageddon is about a group of college friends who begin to be terrorized and murdered by an alien llama who’s crashed onto earth. Laying eggs, turning humans into llama hybrids, and shooting lasers out of its eyes to disintegrate all in its path, the alien llama is easily one of the most entertaining villains I’ve seen in low budget horror in a long time.

I truly loved Llamageddon because it was random at times. Like how a character’s shirt randomly keeps changing between scenes (which I really hope ended up becoming a running gag after the actor mistakenly forgot to pack the shirt or something like that), or how if blood is supposed to be splattered onto a character it’s actually thrown on them like the end of Carrie. The kills are hilarious and over the top at times, and while the humor is a little dry, the ridiculousness of watching this killer llama (played by Louie the Llama) makes it all worth it.

5/5

JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE

Community joked about six seasons and a movie, but Jersey Shore actually did it. While no original cast from the beloved television show star in this movie, the influences are extremely apparent and Jenni Farley (JWoww) even executive produced it.

Jersey Shore Massacre is about Teresa, and her group of gal pals, who ditch their New Jersey salon job for the weekend to go and party it up at the Jersey Shore. After meeting a couple of guys on the beach, the group decides to take the party back to their secluded mansion in the woods (that they ended up at after a couple of beach house mishaps), but soon start to get picked off by a crazed killer. 

This movie is exactly what you think it is. From its writing to the acting, it’s a very over dramatic and stereotypical “Jersey Shore” movie, but those things also are what makes it an enjoyable watch. There are some creative, fun, and bloody kills in Jersey Shore Massacre, and it has a decent twist at the end too. If you know me personally you know I love a great tanning bed kill, and since this is a Jersey Shore movie there is a tanning bed kill and it’s great. Once you get over the bad accents there’s definitely a bloody, low budget horror movie to enjoy in there.

2/5

ALICE IN MURDERLAND

I don’t know who wrote it or why they wrote it, but I love that the only piece of trivia on the IMDb page for Alice in Murderland is: “Seven of the girls in this movie were illiterate.” Take that information, add in that the costumes in this movie probably were bought from the sexy section of Spirit, and you’ve got a low budget horror movie that is cringe and genius at the same time.

The movie is about Alice, a sorority sister who’s birthday is coming up and to celebrate her sorority sisters decide to throw her a themed costume party centering around the classic Alice in Wonderland. On the night of the party, all the girls show up, so has the Jabberwocky, and he is killing all of Alice’s sorority sisters.

Alice in Murderland is a weird and random movie that makes no sense throughout, but delivers a nice little twist at the end. I’m personally a big fan of a scene where a conversation is happening in a bedroom and there’s a sorority sister there just whisking eggs. The dialogue is bad, but the attempt at acting makes it’s entertaining to watch because the delivery of some of the lines are so forced. There’s a character who’s the uncle to one of the sorority sisters, and that actor’s acting makes Alice in Murderland worth watching.

0.5/5

BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP

As someone who is currently writing a slasher that takes place at bible camp, I thought watching Bloody Bloody Bible Camp would be a fun and insightful way to see what someone else had done, but I was wrong. As I’m rereading my notes  I took while watching it there’s an immediate shift once the “big reveal” of this movie takes place - hint, it’s a Sleepaway Camp type of twist and the language used to discuss the reveal is offensive. Bloody Bloody Bible Camp started out fun, but then tried to be edgy with its twist and failed.

Starring Reggie Bannister, Bloody Bloody Bible Camp is about a group of Christian teens going to the “Happy Day Bible Camp” but begin to be punished for their sins by a lunatic nun.

Like I said, this movie started out fun. It has a really cool opening sequence of kills that makes up for the poor dialogue and odd acting. There were interesting, and kind of creepy sequences with the deranged nun talking to themselves in between killing the campers. Plus there’s a random Ron Jeremy cameo where he’s Jesus and that was kind of funny too. The movie felt too long and the pacing of it was off at times, the only redeeming quality of this movie for me was the amount of gore and the kills.

0.5/5

** The films listed above may, or may not still be available to stream on Tubi.